on my mind

do you know what i hate,
what i really, really, hate?
group work/projects in college.
because we're not in elementary school anymore
and its not a colleges job to teach me how to "work with others."
i'm paying three thousand dollars a semester
for instruction from a phd -
not the opinion of the moron next to me
who can't manage third grade grammar.
lazy teaching is what it is.

*****

a while ago all the blue pixels on our tv went out.

no warning, just BAM! total discoloration.

then, a few weeks later, my parents called me to the living room 

because the entire picture went out.

we could still hear the programming,

but the picture was gone. 

i tried restarting the cable box

cycling through the other inputs.

(which curiously had picture and blue pixels)

finally i checked the cables from the tv to the cable box 

and what do you know,

they were just loose enough to not connect.

and just like that, 

we got our picture and our blue pixels back.

technology wizard, right here.

i really have no idea what will happen to these people when i move out.

*****

i'm really procrastinating 

in the whole

apply-to-graduate school department.

it's just so big

and scary

and expensive.

and i am so, so tired of being in school.

voluntarily signing up for another couple of years

just seems insane. 

*****

there is a girl in in my blood class named sparkle.
yes, sparkle.
she's a dancer.
(do with that what you will.)
i know she is a danceer because
in this class we had to do an oral presentation
of a piece of blood imagery (literature, music, art, etc.)
and our interpretation of the symbolism of the piece.
she chose an image of bloody ballet shoes
because it "really struck a chord with her"
because she's a "dancer"
and it symbolizes how dancers put their heart and soul into dance.
which is fine and all.
i can see where she was going with it.
only, the image wasn't of bloody ballet shoes,
it was of bloody ballet flats,
which are just average, everyday shoes
which have absolutely nothing to do with dance whatsoever.
which kind of rendered her entire presentation ridiculous
and makes you wonder what kind of dancer
can't tell the difference between
ballet flats
and ballet pointe shoes?
furthermore,
her name isn't sparkle,
it's courtney.
and i know this because
when the teacher hands back assignments
she fist calls out "courtney (omittedlastname)"
(the name written on the assignment because it has to match school records)
to which no one responds
and then she remembers and calls out
"sparkle (omittedlastname)"
and sparkle says "here".
she absolutely refuses to respond until her preferred moniker is called.

this is what i am surrounded by every day.